Self-love is hard work

The human brain is very tricky and will try to convince us that appreciating and loving ourselves is about being easy on ourselves. But self love can mask itself as self deceit too. So before you begin with any task of uncluttering; whether it’s your home/mind/body/yard/work/car/yougettheidea, try to get clear on what it means and what might be standing in your way of actually and fully embracing and practicing the art of self-love. The connection between decluttering and self love is subversive and most don’t recognize the connection, but they are inextricably woven together. When you begin to unravel your clutter issue, you will notice powerful feelings about your self worth.
Here is a few things to ponder:
Self-love is NOT:
  • Forgiving yourself over and over again for the same sabotaging behavior. That’s slacking off.
  • Being a nice girl.  That’s called hiding.
  • Being comfortable.  That’s stagnation.
  • Fighting where you are, to try to get to where you want to be.  That’s resistance.
  • Ignoring the needs of others.  That’s narcissism.
  • Fooling yourself into thinking that your body really needs to sit, watch TV and eat junk food instead of that 15 minute organization task you set for yourself. That’s called self-deceit.
  • Always putting other people’s needs first.  That’s self-abnegation.
  • Making fun of yourself before others beat you to the punch.  That’s self-deprecation.
  • Lack of discipline.  That’s confusion or chaos.
  • Perfection.  That’s perfectionism.
  • Optional.  That’s discontentment.
  • Pushing yourself beyond your perceived limits.
  • Sitting with your feelings of sadness and anger without being your feelings.
  • Making sure you rest and restore your body and soul.
  • Walking away from the cupcake when your body rather have a nice, hot bath.
  • Showing up over and over again in your own life.
  • Taking the time to look your best, even when you feel like crap inside.
  • Saying no to the things that don’t serve you.
  • Saying yes to the things that do matter, no matter how scary they are.
  • Continuously aiming for excellence and progress.
  • Enjoying this moment, and not getting caught up in the illusion that  life will be better “someday.”
  • Turning passion into compassion, finding ways to help others with your gifts.
  • Investing in yourself, because YOU are your own best commodity.
  • Not getting caught up in an attitude of complaining.
  • Not taking yourself so damn serious.
  • Forgiving yourself but…Self-love is about knowing when you are serving up yourself a big ole’ platter of BS and trying to disguise it as anything other than what it is.
  • Lastly, Self-Love is supportive, nurturing, and manditory.
So, become your own love by answering the following questions. Write them down, it really makes a difference to your brain when you put your answers on paper or computer. And if you are truly brave, you can send the answers to me (or a friend) so we can bear witness to them.
  1. What makes you smile?
  2. What makes your body feel great?
  3. What songs restore your spirit?
  4. What books inspire you?
  5. What foods nourish your spirit and body?
  6. What relationships support you?
  7. List 20 tihings that you can do that says “I LOVE ME?”
Did you really right them down? Make a commitment to yourself; even if you just scratch them on a napkin. You will be so surprised at the difference you’ll feel after you actually write down the answers. This is a concrete way to shakeupyourlife and make lasting changes. My goal is for you to see yourself fully and embrace it. There is so much within each of us just bursting to give back to the people in our world and I would be honored to bear witness to you and your fullness of life and love. Rock on!

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mary Lu Higgins
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 13:26:42

    Read all three blogs, really was engaged by the first one. The Plato quote was a great starting point and the piece was a great mix of story telling plus intellectual musing. Mary Lu


  2. Beth Allen Kintner
    Dec 03, 2011 @ 22:02:31

    A lot here for me to absorb. Great job. I’ll be re-reading it for awhile. The de-cluttering topic tied to self-love really hit me! Thanks, Raeleen!


    • shakeupyourlife
      Dec 04, 2011 @ 08:34:06

      Beth, I’m so happy your are reading my blog and enjoying it, thank you! I know the self-love is ‘thick’ but I was on a roll and could not stop hahaha. I tried to make them shorter and less intense after that one but the de-cluttering part IS very important I think too. Thanks again for commenting too. It helps me know what people are connecting with and what fell flat so-to-speak. I hope you’ll keep reading!


  3. shakeupyourlife
    Dec 04, 2011 @ 08:20:12

    Thanks Mary Lu, I’m so happy your are following and reading my work. It is getting a little easier to write everyday now. Keep reading and sending comments. If you have a topic you’d like to read about, let me know!


  4. Patricia Reyes
    Dec 04, 2011 @ 15:04:05

    Your work is powerful. My favorite thus far has to be this one. Though like the title, this does not seem easy. I think you should continue in the path of advice, it’s creative and new and the place you are coming from sounds “legit.” Thank you for being courageous and sharing it with us. -patty


    • shakeupyourlife
      Dec 04, 2011 @ 15:28:29

      This has to be one of the kindest responses to my writing I have ever received. Thank you for your encouragement and your compliments. I really like what I’m doing and although I am just beginning to share my writing publicly it does seem to be the most right thing for me to do at the moment. Please comment often and let me know if I ever sound too preachy — that is my worst fear. Have a great rest of your day.


  5. Mirian
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 05:12:02

    Fantastic post Raeleen! Loved it! 🙂


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