what does it all mean?

Today I was reading a bunch of magazine articles from cutouts I had been saving. Saving especially so I could someday write about each one. It’s a habit I started over twenty five years ago. I always saw profound meaning in peoples writings and clipped away until I had entire file cabinets filled with them.

But today as I read and read, I realized I was attempting a feat no less difficult than capturing steam in a container. The diffuse nature of each authors topics eluded me as I attempted to recapture an essence and meaning. I spend hours today feeling frustrated and disappointed with myself. I kept thinking, what’s wrong with me? All these profound articles and I can’t think of a clever or new thing to write.

I began to think: what does it all mean anyway?

That thought is what finally caused me to pause. I was trying to construct meaning from another writers meaning. But that is not what I usually write about. I write from my own thoughts and my own values and my own trials and tribulations and my own aha experiences…not from another persons thoughts and learnings.

So today I am proclaiming that we should never despair when we feel empty or lacking in power or value. Indeed, the power of sitting with our selves, quietly and with open mind is the only valuable thing.

One of my friends recently posted a quote from MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. I think it is fitting here:
“When our days become dreary with low-hovering clouds of despair, and when our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that there is a creative force in this universe, working to pull down the gigantic mountains of evil, a power that is able to make a way out of no way and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows”.

Now you may think this is very heavy thought for such a trivial problem that I laid out. But I have found in the past that any notion that I believe is a problem for me feels quite profound to me. After all, when you have a problem that is worrisome, do you think its trivial? NO, you chew on it and believe it is gigantic.

So I leave you with a paraphrase of Martin Luther King Jr.’s profound statement to fit my feelings of today’s writing endeavor:

May all your times of confusion and sadness, dreary despair and dark nights become your creative force; and may that creative force  work diligently to pull down that gigantic and mountainous evil feeling to leave you with the power to make your way out and transform your dark yesterday into a brilliant tomorrow.

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