Just do it – or don’t, it’s your decision

It is a new year. So what. What makes today different from any other? What will make a difference in the world? Are you special? Am I? What will you do today that will be different from yesterday?

I have talked with so many people who eventually ask me to help them change. But it does not take me long to realize they are not willing to do anything differently. Not willing to think differently or act differently or even suspend judgment for a moment. Most people know exactly what they need to do in order to change. They even tell me the origin of their problem. Then they retreat from it and close the door tightly.

It is the most frustrating thing. I have such excitement when each person asks me for help. Not even just for the money either. A full third I work with don’t pay me. It’s actually been a little bit of an experiment. You see, I wanted to see if paying me money made a difference in how much people change. This was not a double blind experiment or anything….not even scientifically done, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to publish it in a journal anyway. It was for personal reasons that I even thought of it.

The results of my experiment have not been very sexy because it just doesn’t matter whether people have money to blow on change or not. And it doesn’t matter how diligently I am asked for help either.

My answer to my query came, not from the results of the little experiment though. It came from my middle child; an adult now with a career of her own and a refreshingly honest view on most things.

She was heavy throughout college and got even heavier after she graduated and moved back home to look for work. I had been trying for years to ‘help’ her lose weight but she would have no part of it. Then, one day she came to me and said, “…okay mom, what would you tell me to do if I was one of your clients? I want to lose weight.” That was it. It took her five months to lose almost 70 pounds and she has kept it off for almost a year now. She still works out when it feels right. She owns a membership to a gym but never goes; she works out at home with a little step machine and ‘cheats’ one day a week. The other days she just uses her god-given common sense and eats to live; she actively chooses not to live to eat any more. That’s it. I can say that I helped her, she’d agree I think. But it was her decision to be ready to accept my help. Then everything was relatively easy (although she might say that some days were tough). But the weight came off every day. I helped her only in that I was able to continue providing variety in thought, exercise, supplements and food choice. She did all the work and she was happy to do it.

And that is the answer for everyone. There are no gurus with magic pills. There is simply the decision to make a change.

There are aids everywhere including those of us that have studied motivation, nutrition, exercise physiology, psychology and kinesiology. Most have lot’s of experience in many environments. But each of us must make our own critical decision. It’s a lonely road.

I am on my own road in my quest too. I must be willing to do the work.

It’s the same for everyone. If we are not honest with ourselves; if we can’t get over the fact that each of us is the only person standing in the way…no one can help.

Our culture has created the most lazy population in human history. We (Yes ME included) are so spoiled. We are so whiny. We have EVERYTHING and yet we want more and are not willing to do the work to realize our goals.

Do you want to write a book? Then write. Do you want to lose weight? Then close your mouth and move your body. Would you like to win a competition? Then put in 10,000 hours of practice and you’ll win. Do you want to own your own business? Then get out of debt and register your LLC. Would you like a better career? Then make your plan and begin.

The BEGINNING of Change is the decision to change. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

But please, I beg you, be honest with yourself. Either do it, or don’t. But stop whining to yourself. Look inside yourself for the reason you are not moving forward and listen to the answer. No one has the answer but you and once you make the decision to change, you will be successful. Good luck and…

…Happy New Year. I’m off to take my own advice. 🙂


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Arline
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 14:38:01

    Yay! You’re back. I’ve been waiting for you to come out with yet anohter enlightening blog post. 🙂 Happy New Year!!


    • shakeupyourlife
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 18:10:57

      Wish you could see the smile on my face. That is truly the sweetest message I’ve received in a while, thank you Arline!
      The holidays were very busy this year so I gave myself permission to take a short break. I am back at the computer and have lots of topics to cover so watch out, hahahaha!


  2. Arline
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 15:38:57

    I’m watchin’ sista! I can’t wait to read more. 🙂 I’ve just recently re-commited myself to Weight Watchers, doing spin twice a week and yoga at least once a week.


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