the way it is, not a belief Part II

Okay, here’s another belief that I am challenging. I invite you to challenge it too…

Someone or something needs to change. Well, guess what? Nothing needs to change to be okay. Consider changing this limiting belief to Everything is okay just the way it IS.

This limiting belief can be difficult to shake because most Americans believe we can change anything in life, which is true, but it can also trick us into believing that anything we don’t like MUST change in order for us to be okay. Think of it this way, if something IS, I mean really is, like you lost your job or a loved one died, you can’t change it. Not to accept it is denial, right? So use that same thought process.

Whatever the current reality (‘problem’) is, it’s completely independent and separate from the meaning we attach to it or stance we take toward it. There will always be things in life that we’d rather ignore and hope would just go away, but those very things will burn us up inside (ever simmer for months over some event or perception of being wronged?) the longer we resist accepting them.

Here is a personal example. I had an appointment scheduled but he was going on 20 minutes late yet I only had a small window for him to be late as I had another client immediately after him. I had a choice, I could be extremely frustrated, allowing my blood pressure to rise stressing over how I would compensate and angry that he put me in this position, OR I could simply sip my tea and catch a few pages of my new book. The REALITY of the situation was his tardiness – he was late, but I had the choice of accepting the situation as it was and enjoy the newly found free time by reading OR I could insist in my mind that the situation needed to change in order for everything to be okay; I could feel disrespected and be ready for a difficult beginning when he arrived, all the while planning my ‘argument’. Which is better? Righteousness indignation because my reality was somehow challenged and inconvenienced? Or delighted with some unexpected reading time?

It was my choice and because I chose to relax and enjoy the unexpected window of free time, I was able to calm my client when he arrived, who was already defensive and stressed himself. The time solution was obvious, we altered our first meeting, scheduled a second meeting, and I met the following client with plenty of time. The unexpected bonus? I earned a full third more pay as my tardy client requested the second meeting with the agreed upon rate. I had not planned this, in fact I had no idea what would ensue when he finally arrived (I only knew my reality, not his). By being open and remaining calm and even happy for the extra readng time instead of worrying, I enjoyed both a pleasant session and more money than I had anticipated or expected.

With this expanded view I realized it IS better to believe everything is okay just the way it is. This is a new reality for me and I like it. Try it. Be okay with whatever IS. Let that be your jump off point and see how your mind expands to create more innovative solutions.

Beliefs are interesting don’t you think? Why not try it?  Yesterdays challenge was How can I afford it and today’s challenge is everything is okay just the way it is. Let me know how it goes or tell me about a belief you delimited. I’d love to hear.

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